fishingboatproceeds: the-blog-of-anne-frank: I just realized that “pun intended” is a pun on “unintended” and I’m literally about to gouge my eyes out I’m so angry This. Changes. Everything.
jpgay: me flirting: if you were a cheeto you’d be a hot cheeto
grodus: true friendship is being comfortable enough to openly discuss pornography with each other
graysea: Hello old sport my name old sport is Jay old sport Gatsby old sport old sport
hamburgay: “beauty sleep” is such bullshit I sleep 12 hours a day and I still look like a trashcan
internetmessiah: Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?
If anyone has noticed the great improvement in the UTA’s Engineering Department website, I will gladly take credit for my dad.
tumblr is so slow right now i have to get on reddit
apatheticghost: my dad just yelled “IT SOUNDS LIKE YOURE MAKING OUT WITH SOMEONE YOU BETTER NOT HAVE A BOY IN THERE”